Write a Play

Write a play. You may write an original short play. It should have at least two characters, a clear beginning, middle and end and should contain at least 50 lines of dialogue. (No maximum)



(The setting is central park, on a warm, clear, spring day. Brian and Jean are sitting on a bench, watching a wedding.)

Brian: Isn't that beautiful?
Jean: Yeah, that's nice...
B: You know what? We should get married at central park someday.
J: (looking away) Yeah, someday...
B: Let's go get some lunch.

(they're sitting in a restaurant, Brian orders a beer and Jean, a beer.)

Brian: Check out the jugs on that one. (looks at the waitress' boobs)
Jean: Can you seriously not do that? I don't care if you look, just keep it to yourself. (looks at the waitress' boobs, too)
Waitress: What can I get for you today?
B: I'll have... a garden burger, please.
J: & I'll have... the usual. Thanks.
Waitress: Ok. I'll have it back in a minute.
(waitress walks off with order) (Brian fidgets)
J: What's up with you today?
B: Oh... nothing. Just excited about my garden burger.
J: Yeah, about that. Since when have you been worried about your weight?
B: I don't know... I've just been thinking about it lately...
(waitress returns, Brian's eyes light up.)

Waitress: Here you are. Enjoy your meal. (Waitress lays down garden burger and deep fried Oreo)
Brian: Dig in!
Jean: (picking up fork) This looks delicious, as always.
Jean: (makes choking sounds) cough - help- cough!
Brian: (gets down on one knee) It'll all be over in a second, honey.
J: (coughs up a gold, diamond ring) What's going on?!
B: You know how much I care for you, and how much I always will. I will love you until the end of time. Will you marry me?
J: (startled) Was this why we saw that wedding in Central Park today?
B: I thought it would start the day out nicely. What do you say?
J: (looks uncomfortable) I have something I need to tell you.
B: What is it?! !!!
J: Well, it would be better if I could just show you. Let's go.
(they walk to a discreet apartment building, and walk upstairs)
B: What is this place?
J: I'm sorry Brian. You'll understand everything in a minute.
B: I trust you, Jean.

(they open an unmarked door - Jean walks in, where a group of women looks over.

Group of Women: (in unison) Susie!
B: What is this... (stink eye) Susie?
Jean/Susie: This is the Anonymous Lesbian Bar. ALB has been my past time since I was a teenager. I always just thought it was a hobby, but lately I've been meaning to talk to you about it.
Brian: What was all that one-in-a-million talk? I thought you said I had a chance!
J/S: I know, I know. I should've said something earlier.
Brian: Oh, ho ho. Have I got something to show you then. (hands ball up into fists)
Group of Women: (in unison) Bye Susie!
J/S: (waves) Bye everyone!
(they leave together, Brian leading the way down a different street)
J: What are you thinking about? I'm so sorry!
B: Don't say anything yet. There's something you need to know about me, too.
(they walk into New York's biggest hospital)
B: You know how I come here every week for my internship? Well, that's not the only reason.
(Brian walks over to a nurse, who in turn brings Brian a full needle)
B: Do you know what this is?
J: No...
B: It's testosterone. My name... is Brianna.
J: Really? What?!
B: I fell in love with you a few years ago, when I saw you from across a bar. I knew you would never want or need another woman in your life, so I thought this would be the only way.
J: Oh, Brianna.
B: Don't you see? We belong together! You, a woman. Me, a masculine woman. There's nothing else we will ever need. Do you say yes?
J: Brianna! Yes! Yes! Yes!

(much kissing and hugging follows, nurses and patients applaud)

(In Massachusetts, in front of a court official)
Judge: Do you, Brianna, take Jean to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Brianna: I do.
Judge: & do you, Jean, take Brianna to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Jean: I do.
Judge: I now pronouce you wife and wife! You may kiss the wife!

(Jean and Brianna kiss, and live happily ever after.